Let’s
face it – knowing how to get over a breakup can be difficult. Most of have or
will go through this, even though it isn’t something any of us would choose.
Breaking
up with someone can actually cover a fairly wide range of situations, although
it is usually a romantic relationship
that ends. But it can also be a platonic
friendship or even a business relationship, though different terms usually
apply.
But
be aware you may still go through a few of the same emotions and a few of the
same reactions, so knowing how to get over a breakup can offer you some
valuable pointers to use in your life anytime a relationship lets you down.
10 Tips To Get Over a
Breakup
1. Grieve – but set limits. It is ok to feel awful and horrible, and you need
to face those feelings, so give yourself permission to cry, scream, or
mope. But only for a short time. Every
day, you should give yourself less and less time to think about “The Breakup” and
more and more time applying other tips here to get over a breakup in a healthy
way.
2. Time.
How long will depend on many variables, including your personality. There is no
set answer but your goal should be to move further away from the negative and
closer to complete healing each day.
3. Friends. Reach out to your friends for support in the beginning. Don’t
isolate yourself with your feelings. Let them know you are hurting and may not
be your usual self for a while, but that you need them. Also let them know in a
nice way when you are not ready for them to “help” with dating or other pushes.
4. Socialize. It might be hard to think about this, but doing something as
simple as meeting a friend for coffee, or going to the library to find a good
book gets you out in the world and back in the flow of everyday life.
5. Write your feelings down. Create a journal specifically to write
about the relationship, the breakup and how you feel about both. Pour it all
out – and then if you find it therapeutic and symbolic, shred it. This is not
something you are doing to keep and reflect on, it is to help you heal and move
on, so don’t keep this on your bookshelf. It can also be healing to end the
journal with positive thoughts about you, where your life is heading, and new
goals for your life.
6. Rebounds to avoid – relationships. It can be tempting to jump
right into a new relationship to avoid the painful feelings of the old one not
working out. But you need time to feel and heal. Then you’ll be in a much
better place for something new that can have a great chance for a healthy start!
7. Rebounds to be aware of – feelings. Rebounds can come in many forms, and feelings
are one. You may think you are fine those first few days, then you hear a song
and BAM! A flood of emotion washes over and you feel terrible. Let the cycle
happen; people are rarely over a breakup without some sad feelings or regrets –
or anger.
8. Find time for hobbies and recreation. Devoting time to
emotionally satisfying things can help you heal. Do things you enjoy, or try
something new!
9. Work is not the answer. Too many people try to drown emotions by
channeling their energy into long work hours. The problems with this choice are
numerous; you create more stress, you don’t deal with things in a timely manner
causing you to actually need more time for healing, and you also set yourself
up for unrealistic expectations from those you work with that you will continue
the frantic pace. It may also backfire on you if your increased work is not top
quality stuff.
10. Be healthy! Perhaps one of the best
things you can do to get over a breakup or indeed any emotionally challenging
time is to put your own health at the forefront. Eat regular, healthy meals of
fresh whole foods. Drink plenty of water and avoid binges on alcohol, caffeine,
sugars and processed foods. Working out helps you burn off stress and anxiety
and release feel good chemicals in your brain to combat depression. And let’s
face facts… a month after the breakup, would you rather look and feel great, or
have gained 10 pounds from all the self-pity cupcake eating?
If
you find that you simply can’t move on, the breakup consumes your thoughts and
feelings and keeps you from living a normal life, it is time to seek
professional help. And that is totally OK! Someone with the right training and
experience can help you see your situation from unbiased angles, give you tools
and counseling to help you move on – so that you get over a breakup in a
healthy way.
